Losers

Originally written: 16/5/2012 


Just some random bullsh*t I gave up on quick coz I just don't even know, OK? XD
But damn, I really should draw Feesha and Andy more lol, I'm having fun with them recently~
They are the main bullies after all, and they're constantly attempting evil for some reason... meh, they're funny, the end.

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Part 1

SCHOOL - HISTORY BLOCK - MORNING

Feesha is sat in class, tapping her fingers on the desk, half listening to the teacher. She stares for a moment.

Feesha: ... I've just had the most amazing idea EVER.

Andy is sat next to her, boredly reading his textbook.

Andy: Dye your hair black? It would stand out a LOT less than orange, you know (rolls eyes).

Feesha: No you black sh*t! (snarls) And for the record, black hair is disgusting!

Andy: You're only saying that because me and your childhood nemesis, Sammi, has black hair...

Feesha: I am going to hold a party!

Andy: Oh great. One problem, you have no f*cking friends.

Feesha: SHUT UP!!

The Teacher stops and glares at her. She smiles, fakely. He continues talking.

Feesha: (whispers) Not an 'invite yourself and get pissed' party you idiot. A party for the smartest people in school, only. So I can convince them that we should kick out all the idiots and losers, like you...

Andy evil eyes her.

Feesha: And fill this school with only the brightest, most promising minds, like mine! Everyday, supplies, resources, electricity, oxygen, is WASTED on people who couldn't give 2 sh*ts about school and hate coming here. WHY?? Why waste everyone's time and energy on total failures?!!??!?

Andy: Nice speech... But save it for your soap box, Francis.

Feesha: (clenches teeth) You dare utter my real name in public and I will make sure you never see daylight again!!

Andy: I never see daylight as it is, since I work for you 7-5 every bloody day.

Feesha: I want a new black side kick! (slams fist on desk).

Andy: I'm Indian, you f*cking stupid cu!!-

Teacher: Anderson! Maison!

They're both leaning towards each other, snarling, then turn and blink at the teacher. They both growl and lift their books in front of their faces.

Part 2

SCHOOL - CORRIDOR - THAT AFTERNOON

Sammi: More f*cking parties.

Sammi glances at a poster on the billboard. Jason shoves in front.

Jason: Oooh this one's for genuises!

Sammi: You're definitely not invited then.

Jason: (reads) "Anyone who has ever achieved an A+ in any subject is welcome! Your grades will be checked on entry".

Sammi: The hell? Who's hosting it? The chess club? Pfft.

Jason: Lol nope! Feesha!!

Sammi: ...

Ason: I know right??

Sammi: Did you just say 'lol' in reality?

Jason: Yus.

SCHOOL - CHESS CLUB - LATER

Joey: Check mate!

Joey sits back, looking rather pleased with himself. Flash to Karl, sat opposite him, looking very pissed. Karl knocks all the pieces off the board, onto the floor.

Karl: This game is f*cking stupid!!!

Joey: Well, I did offer to teach you some moves before hand. But you were adimant that you knew how to play, hahaha.

Karl: I do! You're just-just, you CHEATED!!

Joey: I did cheat actually. I let you keep 7 pieces that I could have easily taken, you didn't even notice! Admit it, you can't play, can you? (laughs)

Karl: As I said. THIS GAME IS F*CKING STUPID AND SO ARE YOU!!

Joey: Pleasure playing you, Karl!

Karl stomps out the room and shoves his hands in his pockets. He stares at the floor then suddenly bumps into someone.

Feesha: Oh! Hello Jeanry. Been to geek club have we? Pfft.

She smirks and rushes away, presumably plotting her evil. I mean, err, organizing her party. Karl glances down at the flyer she dropped.

Karl: Bitch... (he stomps on the flyer).

FEW MINUTES LATER...

Joey spots the flyer as he comes out of chess club.

Part 3

SAMMI'S HOUSE - HIS BEDROOM - EVENING

Sammi is sat on the edge of his bed, thinking. Jason is at the other end, half lying down and humming.

Sammi: Ya know, Feesha's always up to sh*t. Maybe WE should get up to some sh*t and find out what sh*t SHE'S up to at this sh*t suspicious party.

Jason: What’s so suspicious about it?? Then again (inspects poster) THIS HAS BEEN PRINTED WITH A-A LASER PRINTER!!! (insert lightning strike of doom).

Sammi: ... Dude. She stole that last week from Jameson's office. Remember? Or, more accurately, Andy Pandy and Kayron stole it FOR her.

Jason: So clear and shiny!... (awes at poster).

Sammi: (rolls eyes)... Anyway, I can get in easily, but you? Pfft.

Jason: FYI! (stands up on bed) I gained an A+ last year for my super awesome amazing acting skills in the school's production of Snow White!

Sammi: Err, HOW? (raises brow)... you were Dopey.

Jason: By begging and screaming at Mr Alten until he gave up! (wide grin)

Sammi: I see (deadpan as always).

Jason: No seriously! My begging and screaming was so realistic he HAD to raise my grade!!

Sammi: For f*ck-

Jason: Sooooooooooooo (sits back down, leaning towards Sammi) what do YOU have an A+ in, huh???

Sammi: Math.

Jason: HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAA!! (face drops) No seriously, what?

Sammi: Dude, you've known since forever I'm pretty good at math.

Jason: I have???

Sammi: Go ask Jameson tomorrow. Straight record of top-ass grades for Maths AND Algebra since I was 12.

Jason: ... I learn something new about you everyday (stares).

Sammi: Mmm... I know you can only process one f*cking fact at a time, so yeah.

Akzeta (Sammi's mom)(OS): Dinner's ready!

Sammi gets up and pushes Jason back, banging his head on the bed frame.

Jason: OWWAA!! You jerk!

Part 4

SCHOOL - FEESHA'S KINDA SECRET ROOM - NEXT MORNING

Feesha: Is everything sorted?

Andy: What NEEDS sorting? There's no food, drink, dress code or reason to even call it a bloody party!

Feesha evilly glares at him.

Andy: (sighs) The venue is Drama room 4, time; 3PM, as it's not in use.

Feesha: Perfect! I've always wanted to put the stupid massive drama rooms to good use! My voice will echo off the walls, there will be no escape from my words of justice!!

Andy: God help us.

SCHOOL - DRAMA ROOM 4 - 3PM - YEP THAT WAS QUICK

Feesha is dressed in a long red sleeveless dress. Looking more prom than president.

Andy: Well, if it isn't a dead, boobless version of Jessica Rabbit (smirks).

Feesha: F*CK OFF! I happen to like red. Makes me stand out among all these losers.

Andy: Of course. Matches your red hair.

Feesha: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

Andy: Oh my god, seriously? (rolls eyes)

Feesha: NO! I f*cking hate you but you're reasonably useful so whatever black boy, get my speech!

Andy: Fffffffffffine... (stomps off and utters) only reason I started 'working' for you was you promised to drive Sammi out of school and make Krissie love me, and you've failed to even attempt such a thing. Useless bitch.

Kayron and Debbie are at the door, being the bouncer/grade checker for the evening. Good luck with that.

Various students come pouring in, dressed in whatever they were wearing for school. Each showing Debbie their certificates and exam papers to prove themselves worthy of tolerating Feesha's endless blabbing of hate and disgust at underachievers. Woo.

Andy hands Feesha her speech and glances at the main door. He spots Sammi in the line, so calmly walks over.

Sammi: Heeeey Debs!! How's life treatin' ya? Or should I say, How's Feesha treain' ya? Like sh*t?! (whispers threateningly) You should run while you still can...

Debbie blinks and leans back. Andy marches towards them.

Andy: Get lost Samuel!

Sammi: It's Samu-AL.

Andy: Whatever, you Arabian scum!

Sammi: (growls then spits at Andy)... Ya know what, f*ck you!! (whips out exam paper) read it 'n' weep Andy Pandy.

Andy: Y-you, MATH?? (wipes spit off face) You can't even count how many breats your slut of a girlfriend has!!

Sammi: That does it!

Sammi flings himself at Andy and pins him down, ready to punch his face in.

Andy: GAH! STOP PLEASE!! I'll pay you anything, don't harm my face! I need it for drama club!

Sammi: Gay sh*t (stands up).

Andy: I'll have you know I'm perfectly straight!

Sammi: You wont be when I get my hands on you!!

Andy: ...??

Sammi: (rolls eyes) I MEANT I will disfigure you, thus you won't be straight will you-oh forget it!!

Feesha: What the HELL is he doing here??? In fact, what the hell is Jason, Karl, Amilia, Krissie, Daisy, Kexi, Alicia, Scott, Cory, Joey, Cleo, Harritte, Cassandra, Gornellia, Nikki, Daniel, Dannielle, Tori, Evanio and Alex doing here???

Jason: You forgot Josh!

Feesha: AAAARRRGGH!! Get them out! I hate them all!

Jason: Dryagon isn't here either, he's sorta a main one, I guess. I don't even know half these people actually!! (grins)

Sammi: Why are they even considered main characters?...

Jason: Beats me!

Feesha: You gonna stand there and discuss casting or am I gonna ask why the hell Debbie and Kayron have let them in?!

Krissie: Haha! We've ALL gettin' A's at some point Feesha. And according to your obviously-not-very-well-thought-out-posters, anyone who's got an A is allowed in, sooo, joke's on you honey! (sticks tongue out).

Feesha: (nearly explodes)............ THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! (points at Andy)

Andy: Of cooourse it is. Please don't kill me (bored).

Krissie: (sweet tone) Oh, someone WILL be killing you hon. What was that insult about Sammi's 'slut of a girlfriend'?

Andy: I-I-I didn't mean it!!

Sammi: Careful babe, no harming his face. Just a few kicks in the balls will do.

Krissie: HA! He HAS balls? I had no idea (laughs then punches Andy in the guts).

Andy immediately topples over in pain, then whispers to himself.

Andy: She's so attractive when she's mad... ACK!

Jason: So um, just so this doesn't feel like a cliff hanger, what was this 'party' for anyways??

Feesha: TO KILL YOU ALL!!

Jason: (smiles) Oh right!... Wait what???

Feesha flings something across the room, it immediately emits knock out gas and the students start falling like flies.

Sammi, Jason and Krissie just stand there, blinking.

Sammi: Seriously? That is so cliche-(faints)

Part 5

UNKNOWN LOCATION - 20 MINUTES LATER

In a black room.

Feesha: Remember when I promised I'd eliminate Samual Clanes Jr. and you would finally have your precious Kristina?

Andy: I said that 30 minutes ago, actually...

Feesha: I have done so. You no longer need to work for me Anderson... I will miss you. But alas, I will simply replace you with someone smarter and whiter.

Andy: Thank god.

Feesha flicks on the lights. Revealing Sammi and Krissie tied to chairs with cellotape in one of the club rooms in the Maths basement.

Andy: (confused)...What are you going to do with Sammi then??

Feesha: I will dispose of him.

Andy: You'll kill him??

Feesha: F*ck no! There's no way I'm going to prison for murder!!... Again (looks away)

Andy: What?

Feesha: Uugh!! Do you have ANY common sense? We will dispose of Sammi, then when Krissie wakes up I will TELL her I've killed her pathetic asshole of a boyfriend and she'll be so vulnerable and upset she's bound to love the first black guy she comes close to!

Andy: (gritted teeth) I'm Indian!

Feesha and Andy suddenly look forward. Krissie and Sammi are staring at them. Krissie raises a brow, Sammi looks ready to kill someone himself.

Feesha: Sh*t...

Krissie: Feesha, Feesha, Feesha... I know you're trying to be evil but what's wrong with just being nice? That goes for both of you. If Andy was nice I'd have at least dated him.

Andy/Sammi: Really??!!

Krissie: Hell no! All you ever do is brag about your f*cking money!

Andy: Girls like money!

Krissie: Well I don't, pfft. I have plenty of it, in fact, you can HAVE some. Maybe you'll be happy then hmmm??

Andy: At least I HAVE money! Unlike you're brainless, worthless boyfriend!

Sammi: GO TO HELL!! (struggles to escape from cellotape)

Krissie: I know you're just troubled young people, who have obviously had horrific childhoods... (sly glare) maybe we can help you.

Feesha: You can help HIM by kissing his face off! That's all he wants! I know for a fact you fancy her Andy, no point denying it, black boy!

Krissie: ?? He's not black, he's Indian-

Sammi starts breathing deeply.

Feesha: What's he doing??

Krissie: (smiles) Hyperventilating. He's allergic to bullsh*t honey.

Andy: Just let them go, this is stupid!!

Krissie: Yes. This IS stupid! I'll never ever love you Andy. I wasn't even aware you did until 5 minutes ago (squirms)... Though it would explain why you bragged so much at me. I just thought you thought I was a sh*theaded snob like yourself.

Andy: (snarls) You deserve better than that RAT!

Sammi: You're just jealous (laughs) jealous that I get to f*ck her every night wile you're all alone for all eternity coz everyone f*cking hates you!!!

Krissie: Everybody calm the hell down!... (blows hair strand out her eyes) let us go Feesha. We can discuss this like adults, ya know, with hand gestures.

Feesha reluctantly unwraps the cellotape off them. Krissie quickly punches Feesha's nose, making her fall over, screaming and Sammi picks up Andy and flings him against a wall.

Krissie: Least now you don't need an excuse to get a nose job (smiles)

Krissie and Sammi rush out the room with one of the chairs, putting up against the door, locking them in.

Feesha and Andy get up and stare at each other.

Andy: You know Feesha... I've always admired your hair.

Feesha: Go to hell I wouldn't kiss or engage in sexual activity with you if you were the last pink wearing, musical loving, straight man alive!!

Krissie: Why the hell you tell them we're having sex? (laughs loudly)

Sammi: To make Andy more jealous, DUH.

CUT TO

Jason: We've ran out of conclusions!! WOO!!!

Jason rides past the screen on a magical flying unicorn.

The end.